Thursday, August 28, 2008

I may have failed but I have loved you from the start...

I cant stop thinking about him.

Why?

Why did I have to fall in love with him? There were so many! SO MANY! Why him? Why did he have to be the one I couldnt bare to let get away? I dont want to love him anymore because its hard and dirty and all I want is to rest for a little while. My arms are tired.

You think making him go away would be better? Not having to hear about his girlfriends. Not having to know that he's been with someone else...LOTS of someone elses. I have been with no one! Why? Because I cant even think about being with someone else! I love him! I love him! I love him! I am never going to stop! Get used to it! He was my first so many things and damn it he is going to be my last!

I dont care! I dont care! Try to make me hate you. Fuck them. Love them. Hold them. Kiss them. Wish it was me. Think of me. Love me. Hold me. Kiss me.

I cant fix him.

But I pray that one day he'll wake up and realize what he's missing.

Jesus.

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