I'm such a fool, I'm such a fool, I'm such a fool.

It's raining. No, not raining...pouring.

I love the world when its like this. All gloom, doom and wet. It makes me happy.

Is that weird? How sunshine is nice but rain and clouds are what I really love. It does something to my heart, makes it beat faster, harder. It excites me. Part of me wants to run around in it, get soaked to the skin and come inside, dripping and cold, stripping as I go, laying out in front of the fire watching the drops evaporate.

The other part of me wants to bundle up, go sit under the porch covering with my guitar and a cup of sleepy time.

Have I mentioned that I love the rain? ;-)

Life is good. God is good. I am happy. MY friend Liv and I are going to start playing acoustic sets in coffee shops. Jealous?... I would be too.

Have any song suggestions? I would be happy to oblige.

I want to write a song so badly but I dont want to write one about him. I'm afraid to think about it. I'm afraid to write about it, to talk about it. I am afraid of the possibility of never seeing or hearing from him again. I didn't mean ever again... I just meant for now... however long now is.

I still am absolutely sure that it was right. I was being a hindrance, a security blanket and that's what he is for me... safe. known.

The rain is pounding against my window begging to be let in. The drops are rolling faster now, unable to hold onto the slippery glass any longer. Kind of like my control... its slipping further and further away from me. faster and faster. Its a good thing though. I cant afford to be in control. I don't want to be. Not anymore.

Oh Lord I'm becoming. It scares me sometimes.