Desperation.

Leaving in six hours!

I am so excited! Its weird though because it doesn't feel like I'm leaving. Sure I've packed and the last meeting was today but I cant believe its here! I cant believe its been a year!

Last year was unreal and I know that God has so much more in store for this year! People are going to be healed miracles are going to happen and our youth group is going to be in the midst of it! God is so good. I am so on fire for Him! I am so in love with Him and this is just going to refresh and renew it all.

I cant wait to just sit and soak in His presence.

:-)brit

We talked.

Everyone is going to laugh when I say "Geeze, I wish I would have taken their advice earlier".

But God has this thing called perfect timing... Its pretty cool, you should ask Him about it.

So I spilled my guts to Adam.

Ew I don't like the picture I just painted there but that is really what I did.
I told him everything. I really think it is one of the best things I have ever done. I really dont feel like crying.lol

It had been a long time coming and he knew it just as well as I did.

Friends...

Yeah :-) I can definitely do that.

brit

waiting...

He text and told me he was going to call and I didnt think I would be afraid but there I sat, shaking.

Its a good thing we have bible study on thursday nights.

God its just me and you.

Sorry.

Sorry for the most depressing post ever last night.

I just need my life to move forward. I have been in the same spot, treading the same water, for the last two years and I am sick of standing still. I want to move forward, but I don't want to move forward with just anyone.

I love him. Am I allowed to say that on here? Am I allowed to say it at all? I think I am through with caring what I am allowed to say, or what the proper thing to do is.

THE BOTTOM LINE

If he wanted to try again. I would. I would move back to California for him, even if it meant leaving everything I love here behind.

I tried to get over it. I tried not to think about him. I tried hating him for leaving but he was just as scared as I was. I am sick and tired of trying so you know what? I am done with it.

I am in love with someone I met and fell in love with 2 1/2 years ago. His name is Adam and he lives in California. He loves history and Garth brooks. He knows more about me than anyone in the this world. He made me happier than I had ever been and I made him happy too.

Right now everything is drawing near to crescendo. He knows how I feel and now its time to wait and see what he chooses to do about it. The balls in his court and what a relief it is to know that.

I find it funny that Im not scared at all because I know he loves me. Whatever happens now is just fate taking its course.

PS he called.

Pictures from last nights back painting fest lol love this girl!

Dont you just hate when the words get stuck?

Here we go- cryptic post take one.

I am 150 million percent on fire and ecstatic for Desperation! God did some mind blowing things last year but this year...well He is going to show Himself up fosho.

Leaving on Monday AHHHH I still have a million things to take care of and do.

Pray for me. Haha just pray.

You know how when someone tells you they'll call they should at least have the decency to text and say "hey I am really busy today no can do...but tomorrow?"

once again... why do I let him hurt me?

why do I dwell on things?

I am so disgusting...just waiting for every crumb he'll throw at me. it doesnt matter how sick eating it will make me, how old, or raw, or spoiled... I devour it just the same and it leaves me worse off every time.

Pray for me... just pray.

Haha Zuzu I am crying again. I am beginning to think that my body likes crying... I mean why would it do it as much as it does if it didnt.

Where is a pillow?

brit

I keep running into you

Tonight was just what I needed....

and lets just leave it at that. ;-)

Tomorrow...

Tuesday-

The day starts out like any other ordinary day. Zuzu and I wake up and get ready to go meet the lady we are going to house sit for. We get there and I speak for both of us when I say that no money is worth what this lady wants us to do...not to her house but for her dog. (okay so the day isn't that bad yet but wait because it gets there)

So we are done with getting the lowdown for the house, now we have a babysitting job in east Mckinney to get too. The kids were great...until the mom left, and the power went out, and the HUGE rain storm started. Kids were running around everywhere screaming! You would think the world was going to end! One of them wouldn't stop screaming bloody murder and made us call him mom and he sat on the phone sobbing hysterically. One of the kids was so scared he literally threw up (no joke). The kid puked all over the front entry way tile (at least it was on the tile).

If that wasn't bad enough the other two are running around screaming because they are starving and zuzu and I are trying to deal with it all while trying to find flash lights.

We finally got everyone calmed down with a lot of praying and a silly act where Zuzu and I ran around pretending the kitchen was filthy. We donned aprons and went to work with febreeze, Windex, an iron, and laundry detergent. The boys thought it was the funniest thing ever and we ended up chasing them around the house because they were "too dirty" and we had to "clean them".

If the day hadn't already been exciting enough I had a meeting with the worship Pastor of our church. We talked about Colorado and the sponsorship letter I should be writing right now (for shame).

After that I got a call from a family that needed a nanny and wanted me to come interview and I did.

It was the LONGEST interview of my LIFE! It was two hours long and I had to answer more questions than I knew what to do with!

Questions like-

"Whats your favorite movie?"

"How many boyfriends do you have?"

"What do you think about religion?"

"Are you a virgin?"

Let me tell you the strangest interview ever! EVER!

After that zu and I went to Toris and picked up her squirrel because we volunteered to squirrel sit for the day and if my day hadn't already been pleasant enough. The squirrel pooped on me.

The perfect end to the perfect day.

So that was yesterday. This was today.

And who knows what tomorrow will bring....